Tomorrow will mark the two month anniversary of my starting to blog. I am still amazed that I can think of things to write. Which brings me to today's post.

I was on the train home at 12:30 tonight, thinking about what I would post. I have lot's of ideas about things to write but many of them are super personal and I don't know if I yet feel comfortable sharing my whole life here. I am sure it will get a little easier as time goes on but for now that's how I feel. Which brought me to why I started the blog in the first place.

I started reading blogs back in February, when I happened upon Scott-O-Rama's blog while doing an image search for Mike Piazza, the baseball player who played for the Mets but was traded to San Diego. If you don't know what he looks like you should Google him, cause he's hot, hot, hot! I began reading Scott's blog and through his blog began reading blogs he links to, which led me to other blogs and now I have a nice collection of people I follow day to day. They are like mini soap operas only they are real which is far more interesting.

As I read, I discovered that everyone used their blog for different purposes. Some posted their daily routines so friends could keep up with them. Others posted political rants about the Bush Regime. And still others used their blogs as journals posting thoughts and feelings and problems for others to see and comment on. These were the blogs that interested me most. I found them compelling and interesting, and I found myself completely taken by a few people who were posting their deepest darkest secrets.

I used to journal religiously. Every night I would write about my day, what I was going through, my secret crushes, and my secret life that no one knew about. I did this for years. And then in 2001 I moved to Brooklyn. I journaled there as well. Only what I didn't know was that my roommate was reading it. I only found out because one night we were drinking and watching movies and the drunker he got the more he talked. While in the middle of a long winded speech, he suddenly ask me about something I had never told anyone. When I questioned how he knew he admitted to having read my journal. I played off my anger. If you knew J.A. you'd understand that it would have been useless to get angry especially when he is drunk, which turned out to be most of the time.

I felt violated knowing that he had read some of the things that I had written. That night, I hid my journal away so that he couldn't find it and that was the last time I wrote. Since then I let things play out in my head and keep them to myself. That is until I started blogging. I realized from reading on line that perhaps an online journal might be the answer I was looking for. I could post on line, and I wouldn't have to worry about hiding it because it would be there for the world to read. I could remain somewhat anonymous. At least I like to think that, so if any of you know who I am don't tell me, I want to live in my bubble.

So now I write here. I tell you guys what I am thinking. I share my story with you. And hopefully I will reveal my deep dark secrets that will allow me to let them go and move on with my life. In the meantime, I will keep you posted on what's going on in my life and I'll listen as you guys share your experiences and thru all of this I hope to become a better person.