I've noticed over the past week that I have been more than a little whiney. I have complained about practically everything that's happened to me in the last several days. I was so aware of last night's whining that I almost got out of bed and deleted the post. The only reason I didn't is because I have made a small promise to my self that I won't delete anything. I'll say what's on my mind and live with it.

Tonight I would like to redeem myself. I don't want to give the illusion that I am a miserable person or that I hate everyone and everything around me. That is in fact far from the truth. I am very happy to be back in New York City. For a while it didn't appear as though I would be moving back but I am very grateful that I did. When I moved to NYC in September of 1998 I remember pulling up in my moving truck, waiting for my friends to arrive to help unload and thinking "You're home." It was true then and it's true now. I am home. I have lived in seven states in my life and the only one that I was truly happy in was New York. I may get annoyed once in a while by people throwing their trash on the floor of the subway, or for being over-charged for a soda, or by people who hold hands on the street blocking my way, but at the end of the day this is my home and I am happy to be here.

I also want to comment on last night's post. I realized that I sounded a bit ungrateful. In fact I am very grateful to be working on the show. I know that I will learn a lot from it and it's an opportunity that is surely to lead to other work. I volunteered to be of service before I needed to and I should be willing to live up to that offer. I did everything that was expected of me today and I'll continue working on the show and will try not to complain about it.

As for the depression that I spoke of last week. I have been dealing with depression a long time and I try very hard not to use it as a crutch. Yes, there are bad days where I don't leave the house sometimes canceling plans that have been made but some days are good days where I don't feel bad at all. More than anything I don't want to be known as the depressed whiney guy. So I'll keep you guys posted on where things are with that but I'll try not to be "depressed" about it. I will tell you that I have made an appointment with my New York psychiatrist, Dr. B. for next Thursday morning so hopefully we can start working out some changes with the medication.

That's it for today.