Day two in Portland.

I set my alarm for 7:30 so that I could get up early and have coffee before we started our day. Unfortunately I set it for 7:30 p.m. not a.m. so I was awakened by M.M. knocking on the door of my bedroom. It was almost 10:00. So much for coffee before we left home.

I quickly showered and we were out the door. We had two goals for the day. Get a new coat for me and get a Christmas tree for M.M. and L.M. Our first stop of the day. The L.L. Bean Outlet store in Portland. We found parking and got out of the car. I took about 5 steps and the next thing I knew I was on my ass. I had stepped on a patch of ice and my feet were out from under me. Luckily I was more embarrassed than hurt. So I carefully got up and we headed to the store. We spent about 20 minutes there. They had no coats and nothing that really interested us.

We then hit the highway to head north to Freeport. It takes about 30 minutes so we were there in no time. Again we parked, and I carefully got out of the car and we started our shopping. First stop. The L.L. Been discount store. We looked at everything in my size in the store. We even found a coat but it was almost $300.00 and that was the marked down price. We thought perhaps looking elsewhere was a better idea. I did buy some SmartWool socks. I was told they are all the rage, that I would love them and that I would switch to only this type of sock. That claim might be an exaggeration but I do have to admit they are great socks.

Next we headed to the North Face Store. Their stuff is great but we didn't find anything I needed. Next was the L.L. Bean main store up the street. If you haven't been there it's huge and the place is insane. The store is open 24/7 365 days a year. I am curious as to who shops there at 3 a.m. Christmas Eve. But if you need last minute gifts you can always get them there. So we started searching for coats. It took a while to find them in my size but after some work we found 4 that I liked. So I planted myself in front of a mirror and began trying them on. And trying them on. And trying them on. I hate shopping and I hate deciding. I finally narrowed it down to two and decided to carry both of them around until it was time to check out. I found a couple of shirts and sweaters that I liked. I was forced to decide which jacket I wanted (I went with the red one) and we got in line to pay.

Next we were off the Timberland Outlet store. We discovered a gold mine. Nearly everything in the store was 50% off or more. I found a lightweight jacket that was normally 75 bucks marked down to 15. I found a couple of really butch shirts that I liked and OH NO! I found a coat that I liked. And it was $75 dollars less than the L.L. Bean coat. And it was warmer. And it was red like the other one. It took about 3 minutes to decide to get this coat. So we were off to check out. Downstairs we were looking at hats while we were in line and I heard this conversation.

Customer: Has it snowed here this year?

Cashier: (With a look of surprise) Yes, it snowed last night. Didn't you notice the ground was covered.

Customer: Reall? I didn't notice.

Cashier: You didn't notice the ground was covered in snow.

Customer: Oh, that. I thought it was there for effect, for decoration.

Cashier: (Look of total astonishment at the stupidity of the customer)

I have repeated this conversation about a million time since I heard it. I thought it was the funniest thing ever.

We paid, we returned to L.L. Bean got a refund for the jacket and then we were off. We checked a couple of other stores but didn't find anything. Finally it was time to head back to Portland. We got back, picked up L.M. and their friend Sheila, and went looking for Christmas trees. Of course we stopped at the first tree stand we came to. We found Christmas trees and cute boys. What a great combination. The stand was limited in it's tall tree selection but what it lacked in choice it made up for it in cute boyness. We looked at every tree in the lot. L.M. wanted to buy the first tree she saw but it was short and fat. I convinced her it should at least be shaped like a Christmas tree. So we kept looking. After about an hour in the COLD and SNOW we finally found one that L.M. liked and one that Sheila liked. Next we had to convince the two cute boys
(Did I mention they were cute, and brothers and cute) to tie the two trees to the top of the car. They had tied one tree before but never two. We convinced them it was kind of the same thing and it would be no problem. Finally the trees were on and it was off home.

At home we got the trees off the car in the stand and now it was time to make dinner. Lobster...and steak. By this time everyone was home and we all gathered in corners of the kitchen and watched L.M. cook. The wine and beer were flowing and the mood was perfect. It took about an hour and we moved to the dining room and began our meal. It was steak for me and lobster for everyone else. If you remember I discovered that I didn't like the lobster experience all that well back in the summer. We drank more, ate a lot, and laughed a lot. Every so often someone would give me a bit of lobster. It's not that I don't like the taste, it's that I don't like the fact they were crawling around on the kitchen counter about 60 minutes earlier. When everyone was filled to capacity, we moved to the living room taking our beer and wine with us.













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We were sitting there whn L.M. and M.M. remembered they were invited to a party. We debated going for about 5 minutes, it was decided we had to go and off we went. Sheila drove since she hadn't been drinking and the 6 of us piled into the Volvo station wagon (What else would lesbians in Maine drive?). I should point out that M.M. was in the back. We drove the 10 blocks or so found parking and all got out. We were almost to the apartment when all of us realized we had never let M.M. out of the car. Whoops. When we got back to let her out of the car she was PISSED. I don't know if she was playing pissed, or really was. It didn't really matter none of us could stop laughing about it. We arrived at the party. It was LESBIANS. All Lesbians. All day. We said our hellos and headed to the kitchen for beer. Christie, Kelly and I found a place in the corner and except to get more beer we hid there. It was actually quite fun and we were glad we went.

Finally it was time to go home, and we all piled back in the car. Drove the 10 blocks home. Got out, remembering to let M.M. out of the car. Got inside and collapsed in the living room. We all sat there for about 30 minutes and then said our good nights and went to bed.

Day three tomorrow.

Pic #1: Cute boy showing us a tree.
Pic #2: Sunset at the tree lot.
Pic #3: Lobsters on the counter having sex.
Pic #4: Lobsters being punished for having sex before marriage.
Pic #5: Lobster funeral.