I had another anxiety attack tonight. I was walking through the crowds on 23rd Street trying to get to the subway when it started. The difference tonight was that I was able to recognize what was happening and think through it. I forced myself to just breath deep and meditate. The physical symptoms didn't go away but it definitely made them lessen. The whole thing lasted about 30 minutes or so. Thank god the subway wasn't crowded tonight and I was able to sit with my eyes closed and try to stop the effects. For the most part it worked.

Luckily, I have an appointment with my psychiatrist tomorrow and I'll discuss with him what's been happening. What I am hoping that's different this time is waking up depressed tomorrow. Last Friday I woke up in the funk of all funks and I really don't want to deal with that tomorrow. I have way too much to do.

On the good news front. I applied for a teaching job today in the Midwest. Actually, the school has sought me out. I got an email last week asking me if I would be interested in the job. Turns out someone I had worked with about 10 years ago, now teaches there and thought I would be perfect for a position that's opening up in the spring. It would only be for the spring semester but I think it would be perfect for me for the moment and would be a good position to have on my resume. That being said, I don't have all the details so I'm not 100% that I will take it if it's offered to me. I'll keep you guys posted on how it proceeds.

The city was a zoo tonight. The Halloween Parade happened as always but I was smart enough to steer clear of it. My favorite part of the evening though was the topless girls standing in front of the Comfort Diner where my friends and I were gathering to eat. They were exposed for the world to see. One of the girls was quite skinny and had normal size breasts. The other girl was about 300 pounds and was huge. Let me repeat. HUGE. For a moment I was scared for my life, until A.L. convinced me I had nothing to worry about. Maybe this is what triggered my anxiety attack. Of course tonight was the one night that I didn't have my camera with me but trust me they were huge.