I am still tired today, but much better than yesterday. I am actually starting to feel like a normal person again. I got up at 9:00 a.m. this morning, made coffee, and started unpacking my boxes. My friends A.L. and F.M. came by around 11:00 a.m. and helped. Between the three of us about 75% of the boxes were emptied. That's not to say it's all put away, but it's out of the box and I can see what it is and over the next couple of days I'll work on getting things where they go.

Of course my bedroom is still a mess. The boxes aren't piled so high but there's still just a path to my bed. A.L. is coming over again tomorrow and that's our project. We are going to get the furniture arranged in my bedroom and start putting my clothes away. More importantly, we are going to find me a jacket to wear. It's been cold as &*$@ here and I have been freezing without a jacket. I found my scarf today but that's not a lot of good against the cold. I figure if we spend three of four hours tomorrow we should be able to make some progress.

It's funny whenever I am unpacking, it's almost like Christmas. You never know what your going to find in the box that you open. Sometimes it's what you are looking for, sometimes it's something that you forgot about, sometimes it's not what you want at all. At least nobody opened the boxes with porn in it today. Of course it took all day to find the box with the clips that support the shelves in my bookcase. We couldn't unpack the books until the shelves were in and we couldn't install the shelves until we found the clips. The day was winding down before I finally found the box they were in. But the books are on the shelves now, the DVD's are in place, the CD's are unloaded. Now I just have to convince my roommate C.Z. to alphabetize them.

One of the first things I unpacked today was the box with the bathroom scale in it. I haven't stepped on the scale for almost six months. Partly because it's been packed away and partly because I was scared of what it would say. So after my friends left today, I took off my shoes, took a deep breath and took the plunge. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be but it sucked all the same. I was expecting something around 300 lbs. but it was only 284. Only 284. That's not a lot. Who the fuck am I kidding. I have never been so fat in my life. I don't even know how I got this way. Three years ago, I was 180 lbs., in the best shape of my life. Now I breathe hard if I walk up too many flights of stairs.

Long story short I am tired of the weight. I am tired of not being able to wear my clothes. I am tired of being embarrassed to walk into a room. I am tired of not wanting to meet new people. I am tired. So I am going to do something about it. I have eaten very well the last two days. I am going to rejoin the gym. I am going to write down everything that I eat. I am going to stay away from the stuff I know is not good for me. I am going to watch the carbs. And the fats. And the starches. I know how to do this. I have done it before. It's just right now the task is so huge it's overwhelming. It seems like I'll never be skinny again so why bother. I hate being fat and I want to be skinny today. Right now. Someone tell me how to snap my fingers and make the inner-tube around my middle disappear. Please.

Over the next several months I'll be using my blog to track my progress. So some encouragement from you guys would be greatly appreciated. I know it's a long haul but I can do it. I just need to remember that.