Saturday, February 17, 2007

I keep learning a lot about small town life. For example today I learned that just because it's the best diner in town, doesn't mean it's the best diner ever. I ventured out in the fresh snow today to get breakfast out for the first time since moving here. I had been directed to the A & M Diner about 10 or so blocks from my house, so around 10:30 or so I headed over.

I wanted to take pictures but I wasn't sure that the locals would like it much. Let's just say it's a DIVE! In fact, there was an entry door that led into the restaurant, except it opened up on to what looks like a large storage closet. In that room there were about 5 or so solid doors an old refrigerator some boxes and other odds and ends. One of the doors had a hand written sign that said "pull to enter." I wasn't sure what to expect or even if I was in the right place, but I went to the door and pulled. Inside was the seating area for the restaurant. It was a huge open space with a concrete floor, plastic chairs and old signs on the wall. At one end of the room was a Christmas tree on a stage that had been decorated for Valentine's Day. The room was so thick with smoke that you could cut it with a knife.

The restaurant was about half full and I wandered in looking for a place to sit. I was also looking for a place I could breathe. The seating area is quite large and I kept moving all the way to the back corner. There was a booth open. I sat down and waited. Scattered around the room was thirty or so people and my guess would be that 75% of them over the age of 10 were smoking. Luckily my corner seemed to be out of the air flow. After about 10 minutes or so "Flo" showed up with a menu and water. The menu looked like it had seen better days. "Flo" went off to get me a Diet Pepsi and I began to look for breakfast. I decided on a ham and cheese omelet and a cinnamon roll. "Flo came back, took my order and was off again. I might add at this point that the most expensive thing on the menu was 6.50 I think. It was for some sort of lunch meal.

I waited a few minutes and my cinnamon roll appeared. It was huge, smothered in icing and looked great. Ah, but disappointment was soon to present itself. The roll had the consistency and taste of white bread. It was soft and mushy and had no flavor. In fact if it weren't covered in icing it would have had no flavor at all. I ate about half of it, because I was starving and still waiting for my breakfast. Eventually my omelet was dropped off. I might start by saying that most of the ingredients were on the outside. The cheese was melted on top of the eggs and the ham was sprinkled on top of that. And it tasted awful. I wouldn't even know how to describe it other than awful. I ate about a half of it. Luckily, it's hard to screw up hash browns and toast so those were enough to fill me up.

"Flo" had dropped off the check with the omelet in true diner fashion. The bill was totalled but it was easy to see that the entire thing was less than ten dollars. My favorite part of the morning was that omelet was spelled omlet on the check. I took a deep breath and headed for the cashier. I paid and was out the door.

As I said I have been told that this is the best diner in town. I'm not even sure where the other one is and I have been assured it's too far to walk. What I do know is this one is not worth the walk. If I go back it will only be to take pictures for you guys so you can see the proof of what I'm talking about.

8 comments:

KipEsquire said...

Diet Pepsi for breakfast? Kiss my grits! ;-)

digital t-square said...

Yikes! Are you going to try the "second best" diner in town?

Pete said...

Yikes, too bad sometimes greasy spoons like that have the best darn food. I bet it made you miss NY for the no smoking in restaurants.

Spider said...

We believe you - DON'T SUBJECT yourself to that again!

Tom said...

I guess this won't be the spot you take the other gay man to on your first date? I like your blog and I feel your pain!

Unknown said...

I love greasy diners.. sorry you had a bad experience...

Donnie said...

You poor, poor man. If you ever make it down to southeastern North Carolina, I'll show you some amazing little restaurants that serve marvelous meals...breakfasts, lunches, and dinners.

Ur-spo said...

ah small town life!
you have what you have, and you call it good enough.